Things are so good here we changed our original plans and decided to stay an extra few nights but there was a good reason. The local Thai Bar (there are only 2 bars on the island) was hosting a free live ska/reggae band which we could not resist. These parties don’t happen very often so we felt obliged to give them our support.

We’ve been here almost 2 weeks, haven’t seen a cloud and yet, on the night it chose to rain…yah boo sucks!! (warm rain Paul, warm rain..) Did anyone care? Naaa, not a problem. The music was not bad at all for a Thai band with dreadlocks.

Things were going really well, when disaster struck!! The generator packed up at about 10.30 p.m. the place was in darkness, the rain continued to fall and more people squashed into the tiny bar area and the pungent aroma of weed strengthened. The locals started to sing and clap to keep the party going.

All in all, a fun night but a shame for the Thai rasta owner who organised it, as we suspect he makes an entire season’s profits on the party night.

Getting back to the bungalow was a laugh. After a few cocktails we had two options, both in total darkness. First, walk the extremely rickety bridge over the Khlong (canal) and risk falling into the mud up to your neck or to wade through the khlong further along the beach. We chose, with Lisa and Gary, to wade, as it was only knee high water to get to the party. However, the tide had risen through the evening. Cheryl was up to her chin in water and the wallet containing the money had to be dried out next day. But it was funny and we did laugh so much.

There was a bonus. As we were soaked we walked through the water along the beach at high tide. The fluorescent plankton in the surf was absolutely amazing….we’ve never seen anything like it. Stars in the sea.

Other things we forgot to mention in our original blog entry.

1. Electricity arrives in the bungalow at about 18.00hrs and goes off, around 10 or 11ish with about 5 minutes notice, from the man closing up shop. He does give you a candle.
2. The resort owner makes his own wine – elegantly served up in a beer Chang bottle sealed with plastic and an elastic band.
3. Our favourite restaurant has 2 Mynah Birds that mimic the owner’s hacking cough and throat clearing plus the sound of squealing brakes of the motor bikes as they pass.
4. Sven, local German resident, had his arse bit by a scorpion the other morning. That’ll teach him not to shake his shorts out before he puts them on.
5. Nothing is done in a hurry here, food is cooked from fresh and takes time…….lots of time.
6. Neil recognised a guy on the beach. He’s been travelling quite a few years, we first met him in Goa 5 and 4 years ago and now he’s here on the island in a different resort…..small world huh!??

Sadly we are leaving our island haven and are moving on tomorrow. Ferry boat at 8am then bus from Ranong to Hat Yai – Neil is already getting excited by the prospect of 8 hours on a bus.

Life here on Koh Chang (Elephant Island) is probably what it was on most Thai islands when tourism was in its infancy. The island has no cars, a few motor bikes and two narrow concrete roads that go north south and east west. The rest of the island is just dirt trails through the cashew and rubber plantations. There is no hassle in the two mini markets or in the ‘heaving metropolis’ in the centre of the island where there are two further shops (one stocking designer ‘Prado’ flipflops!). Yes, that’s 4 shops in total on the island. Definitely no hard sell here. It is such a different place and it does take a little getting used to but the longer we’re here the more it’s getting under our skin. This is the slow pace that people often dream about but here it’s for real.

The journey here aboard the 24 seat VIP was relatively painless except that it wasn’t very comfortable nor did we get much sleep. Arriving bleary eyed in Ranong at 5 a.m. was fascinating as the town was still asleep and within 30 minutes it began to surface. Shutters opened, people began to set up tables with offerings and shortly after 6.00 a.m. the monks arrived to collect alms from the shop keepers….it was just a superb feeling watching a scruffy border town, not a tourist town, come to life.

Once on the longtail boat, we had a relaxing trip to the island. It operates like a bus, stopping at each resort allowing tourists to get off and locals to deliver important supplies of food, ice and drinks directly onto the beach. The ferry runs 3 times a day in the dry season and pretty much stops in the rainy season.

Our resort contains a UK resident, David, who arrived 10 years ago and now only goes home to renew his visa. He’s 70, knows all the gossip (for such a small island there’s lots of gossip) and even stays through the rainy season which is when most things close, most people leave the island except for a few hardened long stay Europeans and resident rubber and cashew farmers.

We’ve met some other really interesting people, Gabby from Canada and Olivia from Ireland. They met a few days ago and are travelling together via the island to Bangkok. Gabby is teaching English in Korea and Olivia is on her way home after a 12 month round the world trip. Gabby has gained our upmost respect when after a heavy night out, she had the presence of mind to throw up in her hand bag rather than the floor of a taxi…..much to the distress of her now knackered camera…hey, better than paying the clean up fine?

Hot news. Someone has had their clothes laundered and everyone is playing detective to find the owner of a pair of adult Superman Y-fronts seen hanging on the line. At the time of going to print no one is admitting liability.

Our cabin is right on the front of the resort, about 20 metres from the sea. Whilst the location is definitely 5* the cabin can only be described as having rustic charm. Wooden bungalow with easy access private bathroom, (that means no door!!). There’s a hammock on the deck that we fight over and a bed with mozzie net to make up for the gaps in the panels. It’s the ultimate in simple living. But it is home and it is quite fabulous to fall asleep at night listening to the waves…….zzzzzzzzz. Oh, and don’t forget that it costs just over £7/night!

The food here is fine and pretty cheap, and there is a large German influence here so the breakfast comes with some of the best homemade bread we’ve had since leaving the UK. There is also great fresh brewed coffee and an honesty system which means you just help yourself to beers etc and just fill in your book…….so, so civilised and trusting in 2009.

Whilst we type this in the bar the sister of the owner of the “resort” is doing some washing. She keeps singing, beautifully, and it keeps reminding us of the lady collecting water in the cartoon version of The Jungle Book…..we’re sure some of you will remember her voice. Again, as we type, the resident bar Gecko makes his “Geck-ko” call to the amusement of all here.

In summary, this is probably the nearest we’ll get to a rustic, unspoilt paradise. Life is the slowest we’ve seen on any beach we’ve been on. We thought Goa was laid back but that was “upright” compared to this place. There’s a good chance we’ll be back.

The consequences of an overindulgent summer were plain to see. We had put on weight and we needed to take action fast. We needed boot camp, but as this was Thailand, it would have to be “flip flop camp”.

We booked a long stay at a hotel with an excellent 30m pool and planned to swim twice a day, eat sensibly and cut down on the alcohol. A weekly weigh in at Market Village Shopping Mall on electronic scales which played ‘There’s No Place Like Home’ as they weighed, would track our progress.

So, six weeks later how have we done? Well, we did have a day off for Cheryl’s birthday – fry up breakfast at “Lin’s” (He’s from Blackpool, and delivered real bacon, Cumberland sausage & Tetley tea), a Swenson’s ice cream sundae and blue cheese with Ozzie white & red wine for dinner (not cheap out here but……she’s worth it!). We also shared the occasional whiskey. Neil swam approx 2km and Cheryl did about 1.5km each day.

The results, whilst not as good as we had hoped, have been successful with Cheryl slightly edging it. It is 32 degrees out here and Neil’s finding it hard to say “no” to a cold beer. Cheryl has lost a little over half a stone and Neil just a bit less. We have cut down on the swimming but are walking more now we are getting accustomed to the heat.
It was so easy to put on the weight, and it’s been tough to lose it but we have proved – It Can Be Done!.

We are both feeling better for it and will continue to stick with it throughout the trip as gradual weight loss is better than a dramatic drop. Unlike India where you can rely on Delhi Belly for assistance in weight loss, we have to rely on our own inner strength.

Hua Hin itself is not too exciting in terms of cultural things to do. It’s a great beach favoured by wealthy Bangkokians who travel down for weekends. There’s lots of flashy condos and associated eateries and shops etc. One thing about it is very different from most of Thailand, it has pavements that you can generally walk on, there’s lots of trees & greenery on the major roads and it’s fairly clean of rubbish.

It’s actually not a bad place to long stay and have plenty of variety in terms of food etc.
The pictures you see are of The Sofitel where our posh friends Mark & Sally stayed when they were rich i.e. B. C. (Before Children!!). The grounds are quite beautiful and we walked quite a bit through them pretending that we too were rich folk! Just take a look at the giant topiary of elephants etc….stunning but we’re not sure that the gardens are worth $300/night!

Today is The KIngs Birthday. It’s one of the most celebrated days in Thailand as the Thai people have a genuine love & respect for their monarch. There will be lots of things going on, parties and even a bikers ride through in Hua Hin. There’s rumoured to be around 2000 bikes, Harleys, Honda Gold Wings and more.

We move on today to an island on The Andamam Coast called Koh Chang, not to be confused with the much bigger island of the same name on the opposite coastline. Unfortunately, we have to travel by overnight bus which leaves at 11.00 p.m. It shouldn’t be too bad as it’s a VIP bus with only 24 seats which fully recline.

Our Koh Chang is small, with limited electricity even on a good day, no cars and just tracks for motor bikes to get around on. We’re really looking forward to our beach hut by the sea.

The luxury of Hua Hin ends today and the travelling to pastures new begins.

………so that’s that then, sitting in Bangkok International Airport ready to catch the flight back to blighty. What are our lowlights/Highlights? We’ll start on the lowlights so that we can finish on a high:

It’s not all been fun, there have been some low points, but not many in comparison.  The ones that deserve a mention:

1. Losing your wallet and the hassle of cancelling/renewing credit cards but on the upside not much money was lost
2. The disappointment of Laos – Luang Prabang was a lovely place which we both enjoyed, however the anticipated highlight of the trip though the cave was just too much hassle to arrange and this was compounded by the tourist inflation rate spiralling out of control.  We left well before the visa expired.
3. The Vietnamese way of life – I.e. expect noise & to be ripped off –  but the upside is we have got to grips with it , and we had some great experiences while we were there so we want to go back for a fresh start.
4. Forgetting to buy the bus ticket to Melacca in advance and having to wait for what seemed like days (well 5 hours …) in the grimiest, dank, hot, smelly s**t hole of the bus station in KL – one of the glitziest towns in SE Asia!!
5. Still feeling uneasy with the western man with younger Thai woman. Especially when there is an extreme age gap.

Now for the good stuff:

1. Amazing natural & cultural sights – Awe inspiring Halong Bay, Sukothai, Tombs, Tunnels, Wats, etc.
2. Fulfilling Neil’s dream of visiting Vietnam and walking off the plane……Neil almost choked as he walked down the steps.
3. Christmas at Zack’s and enjoying a bottle of 21 year old Chivas Regal and meeting so many lovely people
4. Daft experiences  –the filing past of locals laughing at Neil wearing his shirt as pants while getting his zip fixed in The Mekong Delta
5. Great food, food & more food – Biryani in Little India Singapore, Green curry, red curry, Tom Yum soup, curry pasties, the cheap & cheerful, wonderful food courts …..mmmm.  Beerlao – drank it & got the T-shirt!
6. Weird sights – Sculpture Park in Tha Khaek, the psychedelic lighting in Batu Caves in KL
7. The madness of HCMC and surviving crossing the road!
8. Meeting Chris and family after so many years
9. Meeting so many great people, exchanging tales … and bumping into them again!
10. With time comes healing and Neil’s urgent need for relief whilst on a slow bus is now even funny to him. The thought of a bus load of passengers watching his very undignified exhibition still makes us laugh. Neil hopes that no one has been permanently scarred by the experience!!

Finally, so you think it’s all over????……….well, think again readers.

What started off as a  6 month trip to “seize the day” has become our new lifestyle. The Corporate Bol**cks we first talked about is really over as we’ve come to the conclusion that earning buckets full of money is not all it’s cracked up to be. We’ve had so much fun on not much money and it’s not going to stop. We’re coming back to tour the UK in our caravan, catch up with friends and family and will return to S E Asia next October to start the next adventure…….wooo hooo!

It’s socially acceptable to come down for breakfast in a hotel in your pyjamas – whatever your age!

Thai people have no concept of consequences – hence no helmets on motorbikes, kids held in arms on bikes, appalling driving in general, not looking out for others before standing in the way (especially in a swimming pool when they seem to go out of their way to get into yours!)  Seriously, having spoken to a number of long stay & permanent expats, if you get injured on a motorcycle it wasn’t your fault you were driving without thinking it was those pesky spirits to blame.  In many ways this is a great way to live because you never worry about what might happen, something which prevents a lot of western people from taking any risks at all. 

At home we feel  Health & safety has gone mad with risk assessments for wiping your bottom whereas here in Thailand there  are 10 year olds riding motorbikes & food hygiene at the market which would make Clive & Karen (both environmental health officers) squirm and yet we have been eating there without any problems at all.  Sure, there is a middle ground but it is refreshing to live in a more relaxed environment and questioning your Western view of the world and what is ‘right’.  At least kids get to be kids and have a lot of freedom.

Asian Mall shuffle syndrome.  Shops, markets, malls etc, the only way to move around is generally to move at a snail’s pace and arm in arm if there are two of you so no one can get past.  Stepping out in front of someone then grinding to an immediate halt is also popular. 

There is a growing obesity problem.  The number of sumo babies, toddlers & children is shocking.  Especially compared to the incredibly slender ‘where on earth are the internal organs??’ body types.

Genuine honesty (we got very negative & untrusting following experiences in Vietnam).  For instance, Cheryl needed a hair cut so in Phitsanulok we found what looked to be a busy salon with a number of stylists in smart uniforms.  After the usual round of gestures, mimes, giggling and charades we agreed on a wash & cut but couldn’t understand what the price was, but hey how much could it be?.  The wash was head massage bliss & the cut was started by a junior and then the senior stylist (young man with very trendy haircut) took over. 

He was meticulous and produced an excellent result that Cheryl would have been very happy with at home.  Dusted off and ushered out of the salon Cheryl got the wallet out but there was no one in reception.  Gesturing with money didn’t help.  “No pay” said the stylist, “but.. but , I must pay“ said Cheryl,  “is free” said the stylist.  During Neil’s long wait (attention span of a gnat) he observed that this was a training salon, and that most of the girls were under tuition of the senior stylist.  Sunday was clearly “free cut day” for models.  We had no idea so they could have charged whatever they liked so as a thank you we went back the next day with a big box of biscuits.

Sleaze.  We met a very sad specimen in Nong Khai in an expat bar.  Tony was about 60, overweight, ruddy faced, pretty charmless, unattractive……no real redeeming features whatsoever.  He started bragging to Neil about how he always cheated on his women (yeah right) how he liked to go to girlie bars where they all knew him, and how much he could buy women for.  He was a quite disgusting specimen of the human race and clearly had no respect for anything or anyone.  As a fellow male Neil was astounded about his openness, bravado or was it a cry for help? He just doesn’t know, but thanks his lucky stars he is not a sad old git like him.

Sad.  The number of old, fat bellied, generally unattractive western men with younger Thai wives/girlfriends.  Neither of us can really understand how in the long term these relationships are supposed to survive.  He is a walking ATM for her and all of her family, and she waits on him hand and foot, as Asian wives do.  At best, they have a working arrangement, where he pays and she provides services.  At worst, he gets thoroughly ripped off by her & her family and has no life of his own, some even become ‘flying farangs” – the term used in Pattaya for supposed suicides of expats from high-rise condos.  Ok it’s great to be looked after, but Western culture is a relationship to be a partnership and to have things in common – what do these couples talk about?  (from observation most sit & eat in restaurants in total silence).  Neil commented that if he was inclined that way, and he had one of these women on his arm, he’d be walking with a spring in his step, “cor look at me“, and yet most of these men have such a hangdog expression making them look miserable…….what’s it all about!?

Eating out is a way of life and food is very cheap. Thai’s generally don’t eat out as a celebration they eat out as a matter of course, mostly quick and easy fuelling stops. It’s a grazing culture with someone eating somewhere just about all times of the day. Eat in the food court and you get a very tasty meal for £0.80. At home, in a Thai restaurant would be £8! The ambience might not be so pleasant but the ambience in a UK Thai restaurant is not worth the extra £7.20. In fact, roadside ambience, railway ambience and night market ambience sometimes have the edge!!

It’s hot here, very hot so it’s quite difficult to do too much between 11.00 and 16.00. It’s only crazy westerners that go on the beach in the heat of the day, Thais arrive on the beach about 17.00.

When it rains here boy does it rain! No grey drizzle that last for days, just rain on steroids for about 30 minutes then warm drying sunshine.

Queuing! It’s not a Thai thing.  Jump the queue, well that’s OK as there is no concept of “first come first served”.

In most of Asia it’s not acceptable to flush your toilet paper down the loo. First, you use the jet spray positioned next to the loo to hose down your bum and then you use the paper to dry off before putting it in the basket

New Year number 3 for us – Songkran in Thailand, and it’s a wet one……in fact it’s one huge water fest for all ages.  Water hoses, pistols, foam, buckets, bowls – you name it.

The best part is the hordes of pick up trucks laden with barrels of water and water chucking posses driving around the streets just having fun.  It is all good natured – and yes we did get wet.  Its just the traditional way that the Thai’s celebrate, origins are to do with washing/cleaning for a new start to the year, but as it’s the hottest time of the year it’s more of an excuse to have fun.

As you do get very wet – we didn’t take the camera out, but we do have one picture of Neil with the Songkran garland given to him by the receptionist at the hotel (she likes him…..).

Back in beach mode and sightseeing activities have all but stopped.  Instead, we have been mainly doing:

1 Exercise (about time I hear you say), to whittle off the excesses of the past few months.  Swimming twice a day for 30 mins. (approx 1km for Cheryl & 2km for Neil each day)

2 Calculating the cost of the trip.  A grand total of £7k, or about £40 per day.  We have travelled a lot, especially flights around Vietnam, so have been pleasantly surprised that it has all been so reasonable.  We also calculated that by doing long stays and travelling less this could be as little as £25 per day – in relative luxury, and sunshine of course.

3 Assessing our finances.  Including, getting to grips with SIPPs & ISAs (yawn…..but hey Cheryl was a beancounter and has to be tax efficient!!.) Current Income levels have been better than anticipated as there are winners & losers in every economic climate (thanks Bank of England for the unprecedented base rate).

4 Enjoying the benefits of the lovely hotel that has kindly given us the best value rates that we’ve ever had for taking a long stay.  In fact we have swapped the usual backpacker hostel/budget hotel standard for 4* luxury, and all for £12 per night.

5 Thinking a lot about what we do next………Needless to say we will probably be coming back as we cannot live in the UK on what is the equivalent of £12k a year for both of us….bargain!!

We’ve finally made it to the seaside for the last 5 weeks of our trip.

We’ve put all our negotiation skills to good use and bagged a very, very large room with Jacuzzi bath, TV, wifi and private balcony for 600 Baht/night (about £12!!) including a free upgrade that we weren’t expecting.

The hotel also has a fabulous pool and we’ve been in twice a day to try and get a little fitter before we come home. There is also a “fitness corner” with some “interesting” machines. We’re swimming early a.m. and late p.m. and have the pool pretty much to ourselves. You can see from the pics that the pool is between 25 and 30 meters long so we’ve been able to do some serious training…..about 500 meters a session or 1km/day.

Hua Hin has really exceeded our expectations. We anticipated lots of high rise condo’s and hotels and for it to be really busy….it’s not!!  It’s very clean, not at all Thai!!, and very well kept with an extremely long and clean beach which goes for miles and miles, All the development has been done quite tastefully and so far we think we may come back for a longer time.

There’s a shopping mall not too far away with a large Tesco Lotus where we can get some healthy foods and, in the mall, a number of eateries varying from food court pricing to top end restaurants. Alex, note the pic of the Jappy Hot Quick Restaurant including the classic plastic food display in the window. We haven’t tried it yet but we will report back after we’ve popped in for a setto.

As we’re back in beach mode we’re not doing very much other than eating wisely and trying to get lots of exercise when it’s cool. The hotel has a free shuttle bus which allows us to explore and the main road is 5 minutes walk away which us allows us to catch local buses to go further a field.

We have discovered that long stay in relative luxury can be extremely cheap so we’re using our time here to look into long term Condo rental for next winter. So far, it looks like a good quality apartment with sea view balcony, full kitchen etc can cost as little as 12,000 baht a month (£240). With the cost of daily living being so cheap here you can easily live very well, including some expensive wine, on £10,000/annum for two of you.

A return visit, following our unsuccessful attempt about 6 years ago when we chose the only day the park was closed, and  in those days we were on a tight schedule so ‘come back tomorrow’ was not an option. 

Sukhothai National Park is one of Thailand’s most impressive World Heritage sites. We explored the central section within the old city walls and there are an additional 70 sites within a 5 km radius.  This was the original capital of the first Thai kingdom and ruins date from 13th – 14th century.  The park is beautifully kept, with lawns, ponds and trees between sites. 

We had planned to bypass this region as we were worried about the soaring temperatures (38+), however, taking a tip from the locals we purchased umbrellas with silver reflective coatings and were able to promenade like Edwardian ladies under parasols!! Using the parasols and an early start to avoid the heat of the day we managed to tour the entire central section comfortably on foot and managed to cover the same sites and bump into the same people using vans, tuk tuks and bikes – losers.

The pics can’t fully capture the scale and beauty of the ruins, but we have attempted to include a selection of the best.  While we were there a film crew were taking location shots.  Finally a picture of eye candy (well, a number of fit men wearing loincloths) for Chloe!