Alms giving

We got up early to watch the alms giving to monks which takes place every day around 6.30am. Monks scurry out of wats and assemble to walk around a circular route accepting alms from the local people, mainly handfuls of rice, placed carefully into the monk’s begging bowls. It has become a draw for tourists, and the sellers who line up to sell them rice or bananas ‘for monk, for monk’. There were so many tourists teating the whole thing as a photo opportunity, we were wondering if any of the locals still took part. Then as we followed the monks route back to our guesthouse we saw our very own guest house lady on the corner of the street giving alms. She was pleased to see us and told us she did this every day.

Ssssshhhhhhhhh!

We’ve arrived in Luang Prabang in the north of Laos and wow, what a difference to Vietnam!!

Orange robed monks wandering the streets, quietly spoken, gentle people, pavements are for pedestrians not bikes, no horns blasting, traffic gives way to pedestrians and other road users and generally it’s another world,. It’s a town that is extraordinarily pretty, with traditional wooden shophouses alongside French colonial buildings on the banks of the Mekong and numerous wats with masses of vibrant colourful flowers. We think it’s a place that the whole world would like even though it is a tad touristy.  On the good side, it’s definitely not a party town, things start to close around 10 P.M. and we even got locked out of our guesthouse at 10.30 P.M……dirty little stop outs!

We’ve found a guesthouse that’s very traditional and very peaceful, much in keeping with the city.  Neil was concerned by Cheryl’s over excitement at getting soft white sheets and fluffy white bath towels…..maybe we have been staying in too many low budget places!! By the way, as we type this on our balcony we can hear the drums and cymbals from the neighbouring Wat….cool huh!!  They say that tourists come to L P for a few days and end up staying a few weeks. We’ve been here 2 days and can see why.

Yesterday afternoon we bumped into Brig and Lyn, Canadians about our age, who we met at Zackry’s on Langkawi Island just before Christmas. Yes, it really is a small world! Since we parted company they have been to Cambodia and Vietnam in the reverse direction to us.

We have also met with Sarah & Jill are here from Hanoi and had dinner with them and as they are here for a few days we’ll keep bumping into them again.

We’ve made our first local friend, a novice Monk called Oun Kham. (see pic) He’s 19, been a novice for 4 years and his English is excellent. He wants to move into tourism, like a lot of young monks, but he’s smart enough to know that the market is saturated with English speaking guides. As an ex French colony there’s also a lot of French tourists and French speaking tourist guides to go with them.

So he’s decided to learn Spanish which he sees as a niche area. Very smart! One small problem, he has no senior monks to learn from as none of them speak Spanish. No problem, he’s decided to teach himself! That is with the aid of the one text book from the local library and a guy from Dublin who happened to overhear our conversation and sat down with Oun to pass on his knowledge of Spanish.

Becoming a monk is a great way to get an education. For people like Oun who come from a small village, becoming a novice gives him the opportunity to get an education that he couldn’t get in school and that he could never afford at University.

We’ve done a few touristy things, visiting Wats etc but generally done nothing as this is a very chilled city which, for an ex-capital, feels more like a village. Cheryl has had the only real bit of excitement, our first real dodgy “something”, that stayed inside her stomach for about 3 hours before deciding to violently eject itself into the “big white telephone” throughout the night. Gladly, all is now well and she’s back firing on all four cylinders at breakfast, lunch and dinner.

BeerLao is famous throughout S E Asia although you can’t get it outside Laos (we don’t think). It is “the brand” in Laos, bigger than anything else, and something that The Laos people are immensely proud of. They also have “lao lao” a rice based spirit. Neil was offered a sip from a shopkeeper and even he thought it was likely to make his hair fall out …tee hee! However, at 6000 kip (£0.50) a half litre he’s more than likely to get a liking for it before we leave. It’s generally home made and is supplied in empty water bottles…an excellent example of recycling!

Goodnight Vietnam

We have seen some spectacular natural and historical sights, and we have met some lovely people (as well as the scammers), however we both feel it’s a country we won’t be returning to.

Obviously there is a lot more of Vietnam to see and we know we’ve only scratched the surface. The major thing that would deter both of us from coming back is the incessant traffic noise. It’s a habit now, not a necessity, that most drivers of bikes, cars, buses, lorries and especially taxis drive around continually honking horns. It’s totally unnecessary, as our minibus driver to Halong Bay proved.  They drive around making an incredible din from the start of the day (around 05.00) until the end of the day (around 24.00). To start with, in HCMC, it was a novelty but after 4 weeks it now  grates and it’s the one thing that will keep us away. We’ve learnt to cope with the scammers and whilst they are a pain in the a**e, we now feel that we can play them at their own game.


Now a couple of short stories. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we shall begin.

The Legend of The Turtle in Hoan Kiem lake, Central Hanoi.

As many legends of giant turtles exist all over we won’t bore you with the detail. Suffice it to say we actually saw what many claim to be mythical only, a giant turtle in the lake. He/she was around a metre or so in length and was just slowly paddling along the lake taking in the scenery and the ambience. So as legend has it we are very lucky indeed………or there are hundreds of them put in for gullible tourists to spot! We would like to believe it’s the former.

The Legend of The Corkscrew.

On the flights up to Hanoi Neil had the penknife/corkscrew “lifted” by a baggage handler from one of the outside zipped pockets on his backpack. Desperate (ok Cheryl needed wine) for a replacement we visited a small shop selling “stuff”. Neil used a bottle of wine as a prop and after some gesturing with his arms the lady produced a large corkscrew. Again using sign language Neil suggested something smaller. This time she disappeared out to the back and returned waiving the twin brother of the “lifted” corkscrew!! Was this spooky or was her husband a psychic baggage handler who lured us to her shop and got us to part with 40,000VND? (less than £2). We’ll never know….

Here are some observations on Vietnam:

One legged cyclists who just get on with their day without begging. They just balance themselves with a crutch and pedal with the one good leg….respect!


Women wearing traditional “pyjamas & conical hats”. Mainly roadside sellers of fruit etc but also those working in the rice paddies.


Beautifully lush green paddy fields with traditional labour intensive farming with few tractors but lots of buffalo.


Telegraph poles and lines everywhere…..what a mess.


Tall, thin and very deep buildings – often referred to as Tube Buildings, sometimes in total isolation.  We stayed in one in Danang.  See pic


The sheer driving chaos on the roads but it does seem to work.


Kids shouting hello


Overall the food has been disappointing and has lacked flavour.  Street food is limited to pho (noodle soup with beef or chicken – eaten everywhere, at all times of the day,….a national addiction) or filled baguettes.


New Year celebration was restrained -hordes of people watched the fireworks and then went home with no cheering, hugging etc.  Abba’s ‘Happy New Year’ is the song of TET.


Manchester United Brand….bigger than Coke, KFC and Pepsi!  Neil gained much respect from the locals when they saw Manchester as his place of birth in his passport.


The red flag flies proudly from nearly every building, house, hotel & boat



Pavements are not for pedestrians. They’re for parking bikes, cars washing up or extending your shop front.

Burning lucky money at the roadside.

Hanoi, Halong and Uncle Ho

Hanoi has a different feel to HCMC. It comes across as less touristy (despite loads of tourists!!), the traffic is still noisy but less in your face and we found much more French influenced architecture. Altogether, the “old quarter” feels a lot more untouched and lived in.

We spent our first day on a Lonely Planet City Walk around the Old Quarter. With a stop for lunch it probably took us about 4 to 5 hours and we saw so much interesting stuff. Entire streets specialising in tin boxes, rope, blacksmiths, fake money (they burn it for good luck), fruit & veg, buckets, spanners & ratchets, grease, leather and PVC (not kinky stuff) and you name it there’s a street full of it. It does make shopping easy, (to man shop that is), know what you want, go to the street and buy it!

Halong Bay is quite astounding. It’s limestone karsts thrusting out of the sea, almost 2000 islands and guide described it as “a descending dragon”, which we thought quite poetic and very apt. Our pictures really don’t do it justice and we only scratched the surface.

The trip included a visit to a cave as all the karsts are riddled with them. This one had a lovely legend of a wedding where most of the guests were animals and our guide used his laser pen to pick out elephants, dragons, unicorns and jelly fish all shaped in the stalagmites and stalactites. As with most legends, there were fertility symbols, in this case a very large breast with an equally large nipple…tee hee, snigger snigger!

When Neil was working at RAC back in September, he took a call from Jill who wished to cancel her membership. In good RAC practice, a long conversation ensued and Neil agreed to meet with Jill in Hanoi!! So 5 months on we did, we met her and daughter Sarah, who is doing voluntary work here, for dinner and so as not to be confused with all the other tourists we wore RAC T-Shirts. We presented Sarah with some books and clothes etc that she could sell and put into the charity. A great evening was had by all and, maybe, we’ll meet again in Laos as we’re going to be there at the same time.

No visit to Hanoi is complete without paying your respects to the great man himself, Ho Chi Minh (Uncle Ho). He’s been embalmed and lies in state for all to see. He’s just come back from his annual MOT in Russia and looked quite serene in his mausoleum. No pics allowed for obvious reasons and all bags and weapons had to be handed in before entry. Needless to say we deposited our AK47’s, rocket launchers, tear gas and Neil’s catapult before we went in!! It was actually a quite frustrating bureaucratic affair, “no go this way, must go that way” Blah blah blah!!! But it was worth it as he is “The Man” in Vietnam and we feel proud to be able to pay our respects.

On yer bike 2!!

Here are some more pics and videos.

There was a lot of stuff that we missed, about 100 chickens travelling on a bike, the same number of ducks showing the same “mouth open” tendancies as excited dogs leaning out of a car window and, we’re told but never saw, small cows on a bike…..enjoy!

Eating & drinking on the beach

More pics of us having fun while the snow falls back home which, sadly, has caused Paul to ‘remodel’ the front of our car!! 

Includes the ‘opening night’ for a beach hut restaurant which turned out to be hilarious. Including smoking oil lamps all over Neil’s face, a waitress who couldn’t speak a word of English running away from us in sheer panic, and bbq beef tasting of bbq lighting fluid!

Note the tower of meat served up to Chris & Viv – and yes they did finish it all.

Old Friends on The Beach

We are now enjoying the beach again, this time on the island of Phu Quoc (pronounced Foo wok). However, before we talk about the island and our old friends there is, yet again, a tale to tell!!

We stayed overnight in Danang (don’t go there) and after another night of scams (see previous diary) we refused to play along and ended up with a liquid dinner watching The Fantastic Four in our strange but very adequate non-scamming hotel. (see the nice pic!).

Next morning bright and early, off to HCMC via JetStar and then went to check in with Vietnam Airlines at 09.45 for the 12.45 flight to P Q.

“You not on flight list……ticket cancelled, you must call agency”. Here we go again and so as not to bore you with all the crappy details we’ll get to the point. After much discussion and refusal to move we eventually were told to return to the ticket desk at 12.15 for standby tickets if they had any. They also booked us on the 06.20am the following morning should standby tickets not happen.

12.00 arrived and we went to ticket desk. “15 minutes more, you come back”. So Neil went back and eventually we were told we had seats & to check in. 15 minutes to go before take off, the bags went off down the conveyor, we sprinted through security and eventually got on the plane at 13.00. We were still putting bags in lockers as we taxied.

Surprise!!! We arrived and so did the bags….phew!

Oh, by the way, just for good measure, our return flight on Feb 7th and our flights from Hanoi into Laos on Feb 12th were also cancelled!! Tee hee, don’t you just love it when an agency and an airline blame each other for the cock up and you the paying customer get all the stress?

Anyway, we’re now here. The accommodation is fine, on the beach, and right next door to Family Morriss staying in the “posh resort” for people with jobs who are cash rich and time poor.

Chris and Viv plus sons Paul and Mark are here for an annual holiday. Neil knew Chris as far back as 1975 when they worked together, drank together and generally had a good time together when they both first started work. Chris & Viv emigrated to Oz in 1982 and Neil last met Chris in the UK about 15 years ago.

What can we say? Life on the beach is tough. Sleep late, swim, snooze, sunbathe, etc. So much to talk about, so many beers to catch up on (we’re now buying it in bulk by the crate at (30p/bottle) and lots of good food to eat. We’ll get through it somehow…….

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Scam Central !!!!!

Apologies for the length of this entry, but read on if you would like to know how we fared against the hard core tourist rip off.

It had to happen, we have been dreading it but finally we hit scam central and the Vietnam that we hoped did not exist. It was a day trip by so called ‘dragon boat’ to the numerous tombs of the 18-19 century emperors located along the Perfume River.

This was the morning of TET, and as we set off from the hotel we were told by the hotel staff that moto taxi’s would not be included in the trip and that at a couple of  sites we would have to walk, but walking was possible. No problem we thought. We were also told that as it was a public holiday admission fees would be waived.

As the boat sailed our beaming tour guide plied us with home made “fruit brandy” to celebrate the New Year. Then he told us that moto taxi’s were available but at a special TET price. Here we go we thought!!

Next the girl came around with the menu card that contained food at highly inflated prices. “But lunch is included in the price?”. The reply came, “Ah, it’s TET, you have rice cake only so order more food’.  We continued to protest, and the guide got involved, ‘Market shut, only rice cake, so order more food’.  We refused and decided to see what would happen at lunchtime.

First stop, the Thien Mu Pagoda, one of the symbols of Hue and home of the monk who burned himself in protest of the actions of the South Vietnamese Government during the war. See pics

Arrived at the boat stop for the first tomb which required a short walk from boat to the site.  Guide told us ‘need moto to save time, only 90,000 Dong! (approx 4 GBP), and as you no pay admission fees today the money you save  go to the moto driver‘.  We refused to pay, and in protest along with half the boat set off for the site on foot.  A 10 min walk later and on arrival at the site, of course, we had to pay to go in!!

Cheryl decided to tell the guide what she thought of the situation, and following her ‘rant’ he sulked, and all ‘guiding’ came to a halt from then on,  Neil joked with a fellow traveller, ‘I love it when my little rottweiller gets going!’


The tomb was spectacular and serene, see pics. The whole site was like a country park and we could easily have spent half a day there. The king, Tu Doc was only 153cm tall and suffered from short man syndrome as he had the honour guard of stone mandarins made shorter than himself (see pic with Neil standing alongside)

Much confusion when we got back to the boat, as the guide had not bothered to tell  everyone what time to get back and  he had to go and find two Scottish girls who got lost (his fault as he didn’t bother to check the walkers knew where to go).

On the boat, the table had been set for lunch so we took a place and looked at the unappetising fried rice cakes and a plastic cup of goo which turned out to be pumpkin.  Several dishes were placed in front of those who ordered from the menu.  We asked the guide for assistance – what is supposed to be included? He babbled on about Tet, rice cakes and order from menu, we stood our ground and asked what can we eat without charge?.  Things got heated, the guide said market shut, market shut!  We said so where did all the ordered food come from? Oh that’s the boat family’s own food, he said. Finally he lost his temper and stormed off, I no talk to you no more!  Neil chased after him – and bellowed ‘you are the guide, do you job and explain what’s going on’.  The boat owner lady finally pointed to a dish of pork & prawns and one of noodles and said that was ours, no charge.  The two Scottish girls sat quietly, did not complain and got nothing.

We didn’t enjoy the conflict, or the meal as it was pretty ropey, but were really disappointed in our fellow travellers who didn’t protest, not even on behalf of the Scottish girls who would not say “boo to a goose“.  I guess that’s why the scammers keep doing it

In the absence of any guiding we reverted to Lonely Planet , and Cheryl took on a mini tour guide role for some of the other travellers who were interested in the sites.  There was another spectacular tomb, Minh Mang, who didn’t appear to be vertically challenged like Tu Doc.

Last stop was for a tomb built in the 1920’s which didn’t get a great write up in LP and looked to be approx 2km from the boat landing point.  After the fuss at the first stop we were running very late as we arrived at the docking point.  The guide leapt to his feet. ‘This tomb is 4 km walk and there are no motos here.  I don’t go here. You can have 40 minutes.  The trip back to town will take 1 hour 45 mins’  He didn’t want to bother with the stop and was trying to persuade us to just head back!  Of course we spotted the ruse so decided we were getting off and going………for a sneaky coffee in the village!  A few other people got off the boat and did pretty much the same thing, waste 40 minutes just to annoy the tour guide.

Overall, the trip was very good and the sites were really fascinating. It’s just a pity that the guide chose to be an arse when he grew up.

That’s pretty much all of our travels in Hue. We’ve since met up with Frankie, a lady from Oz who gave us lots of tips for Hanoi and Laos. In addition, as TET continues for some time after “the day” we’ve had a number of attempted scams by quite a lot more arses!

“It’s TET, Government say all tourists must pay double fare for bus!. Yeah!!

“It’s TET, your meal cost 50,000VND each not 40,000VND as in menu”. Yeah!

“It’s old menu, wine not 50,000VND it 90,000VND”. Yeah!

“Water cost 20,000VND”. Yeah! (Actual cost 50mts up the road with our nice man was 8,000VND!).

Every time you buy something, if it’s not priced as it is in HCMC, you can see them looking at you and working out how much they can fleece you for. 

TET – The Vietnamese Lunar New Year

TET is the most important festival in the Vietnamese calendar. In the days leading up to it there are flower markets everywhere and in the same way that every household in the UK buys a Christmas Tree households buy TET trees, Bonsai, Kum Quat trees and Chrysanthemum flowers.

Our guest house gave us the traditional TET rice cake, (see previous entry), and households produce a TET table to celebrate the new year with the Spirits of the Hearth.

New Years Eve we went to the area just outside the Citadel set out for the celebrations. It seemed like the entire population of the motor bike world was arriving (see video). We watched a couple of Asian Pop bands and decided that viewing the fireworks would be best outside the Citadel or we would be there all night!!

Bizarrely enough, and to kid you not, the top tune for new year is ABBA’s Happy New Year from their 1980 Album Super Trouper!! It’s played day & night everywhere, shops, buses, taxi’s, yup everywhere. At midnight we were about 1km+ away from the Citadel Festivities over the Perfume River. At midnight the fireworks started accompanied by ABBA…….15 minutes later the spectacular show finally ended but ABBA continued, probably until dawn!!

Back to the guesthouse and we were greeted by our hosts with more TET treats, candied fruits, nuts and hot beef, plus a glass of “stuff”.

Next morning we were going on a trip and waiting in reception for our bus. Some of the owners friends arrived, dressed to the 9’s, and they cracked open a bottle of Johnny Walker at 8 a.m. Neil was invited to imbibe and, feeling obliged, he joined in!!



Happy New Year …. Chuc Mung Nam Moi.

Hue and the DMZ

We are now in Hue which is about 180km further north from Hoi An. It has  proved to be a much more enjoyable place to stay with less of the pushy sales stuff that we had to endure in Hoi An.


We had booked a hotel on-line and they threw in a free pick up from the bus station.  This turned out to be a very nice man waiting with our names on a sign and his motorbike!  One at a time we arrived at the hotel which proved to be very good but on a major road. As Vietnamese drivers can’t even park at the side of the road without pressing their horn it proved to be a noisy and early morning!! However, we discovered on our quest for dinner that there were lots of hotels in quieter streets just around the corner costing 10USD (less than £7) rather than the 20USD we were paying. Needless to say we moved next day and now have a room with satellite TV, high speed wifi, bathroom, fridge, A/C and a little balcony to sit on whilst drinking our aperitifs (how posh are we!??).  The young woman in charge seems genuinely pleased we are staying for Tet, and even brought us hot soup (yum) and a special Tet cake thing (yuck – glutinous rice, salty stuff, no idea what else and wrapped in a strong smelling banana leaf), when we got back wet and cold from our day trip.

The trip was to the Demilitarised Zone (DMZ), this included Vinh Moc Tunnels, the 17th Parallel and Khe Sanh American Air force base.  Apart from the shitty weather – constant cool breeze and rain, and the poor tour guide, it was an interesting experience, the one that Neil really wanted to do.

The DMZ was 5 kilometres either side of the river that formed the 17th parallel. It was originally set up at the end of the second world war and the whole episode was reinforced when  the French formally partitioned the country. It became one of the focal points of the war between the North and the South in the 1960’s conflict. The whole area is now paddy fields with any bomb craters now used as fish farms.

The Vinh Moc tunnels are unbelievable. They are similar to those of Cu Chi outside HCMC but are more spectacular and genuine, with more of the original tunnels open to visitors. After the US destroyed the village of Vinh Moc the people went underground in a maze of tunnels, over 3 levels, and up to 30 meters deep. Some of the people lived underground for more than 6 years, 17 children were born there and lived their early years underground. The tunnels are more accessible as they range from 1.6m to 1.9m high.  Just as with Cu Chi, the US found it almost impossible to find them and lost many soldiers to the “guerrillas” from the underground popping up, destroying and killing, then disappearing into nowhere.

Khe Sanh was the scene of one of the bloodiest battles of the war, a 75 day siege. It was another wartime example of some “big nob” in the military making a snap decision that the airbase was to be secured at all cost. 500 US troops were sent home in body bags and 10,000 VC were killed. General Westmoreland‘s, tour of duty ended and within a week the whole idea of defending Khe Sanh was abandoned.

A marine officer had expressed this opinion months before the decision to defend: “You’re not really anywhere. You could lose it and you really haven’t lost a damned thing”.  Westmoreland was obsessed by Khe Sanh as he thought that the TET offensive was a decoy for Khe Sanh. As it turned out, the TET Offensive in the south proved to be one of the final nails in the US coffin as Khe Sanh was the decoy. Hell, it was an airbase on the top of a plateau with nothing but jungle as far as the eye could see. Why could anyone think this was so important?

Hoi An Old Town and My Son Temples

We’re now in Hoi An which is about half way up from HCMC in the south and Hanoi in the north. It’s a Unesco World Heritage Site with buildings going back to the 17th century. Dutch, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese and other traders would have come here as they did to Melaka where we visited in Malaysia. One thing we have noticed is that it is much cooler in the evenings and people here are wearing more clothing, puffer jackets, anoraks and woolly hats.  We have a pool at the hotel and even after a full days sun it was freezing!!


It’s great that the buildings are not “prettified” and you can see them “raw”. It’s also interesting to see a slightly, and we mean slightly, quieter city. There is one disappointment, we have seen our first glimpse of the one thing we feared in Vietnam. Pushy traders wanting you to “visit my shop, just lookie and see”. We’ve also experienced the first instance of “how much can I rip off the tourist” syndrome. Unlike HCMC nothing in the shops is labelled. Instead, when you ask how much something is the price is dependant on what they think you can afford. Twice the price of HCMC is not unusual and when you laugh and walk away suddenly the price miraculously falls. Neil refuses to do business this way. He doesn’t mind doing “deals” in a market but if a shop tries to con him he tells them so and walks away despite the fact that the price is now reasonable.

Note the picture of the two dogs. They were tethered so that they could not leave the chairs. A guy with a very posh camera and a huge lens tried to take a picture of them very close up. The dog on the right turned around to bear his backside which made us and a family of locals burst out laughing. I took this pic to see if I was to get the same treatment.…no, he must have liked me.


Today we went on yet another tourist trip (we’re getting to be quite the little tour guides pet!!), to My Son, another World Heritage Site going back around 1200 years. It’s the most important site of the ancient kingdom of Champa, and is a collection of ruins, some in fairly good condition and others obliterated by US bombing, stretched across a small valley surrounded by jungle and mountains.



We were surprised to find that the tour company had used a ‘sleeper’ bus for the trip, so we had a relaxed trip on our fully flat beds at the back! Pity it was only an hours journey……We also chose the option to go back to Hoi An by boat and didn’t realise that lunch was included, so all round a great day out for $7 each!

The Mighty Mekong Delta

Today we went on yet another trip!! This time to the Mighty Mekong Delta.

There’s probably not much that we can say that the pictures won’t say so much better. It really is a “mighty” river and it brings so much to the local population that is generally very poor. It brings work on the river, food, transport, renewed fertility to the soil every year and, of course, tourists and their tourist $.

However, there is one story to tell. Neil had a zip break in one of his pockets in his shorts quite some time ago. As he’s already lost one wallet it did make sense to get it repaired. Finally today we managed it. During our trip, we had stopped for lunch and some free time to explore Ben Tre, one of the many islands in the delta. Neil spotted a lady with a sewing machine at the side of the road and decided that this might be a good time to effect the repair. Great fun was in store for all concerned as we had no Vietnamese and she had no English. Through a series of signs, pointing at watches and showing money it was agreed that it would take just a few minutes to replace the zip and cost 15000D (£0.60).

One small problem, the lady needed his shorts and he had no others to wear, and as usual was not wearing any pants!! “No problem” said Neil as he disappeared to the back of the shop and a few minutes later he reappeared shorts in hand and wearing his polo shirt as a pair of shorts. Everyone burst out laughing, the lady, her husband, her mum and her son. The lady then disappeared on her bike to buy a zip and returned shortly afterwards as did a long line of locals to look at this crazy tourist sat at the side of the road wearing his shirt for shorts.

It was very funny, lots of laughs and hopefully a tourist has given some locals some revenue and a story to tell for a long time to come.

The Cu Chi Tunnels of the Viet Cong

We joined an organised trip and before we went to the tunnels we visited a handicraft centre. Yes you might be thinking, this sounds like a typical “rip off “the tourist opportunity. Well, not this time. It is a centre that has been established for those people that have been born suffering from the effects of Agent Orange, to gain employment.. After more than 30 years people are still being born with defects caused by the effects of AO on the genetic structure of their grandparents and parents. Horrid deformities that, once again, make you realise just how futile and barbaric war really is.

It was very low key. They were making beautiful ornaments, plaques, bowls, vases, etc using mother of pearl and so on. What really “floated our boat” was the ingenious way that they used broken egg shells to make some fabulous stuff. Take a look at the pics which, sadly, don’t do them justice.

AO was used to defoliate millions of acres of forest so that the VC couldn’t hide or grow food. The US used Vietnam as a giant laboratory because they really didn’t know the effects of using such huge amounts of AO and other chemicals, most of which contained huge amounts of dioxins. Some of the bases used by the US to store and load these chemicals into the planes are still contaminated and waiting to be cleansed…..over 30 years after the war finished!

The tunnels of Cu Chi are about 30kms outside HCMC. Whilst some of what we saw were reconstructions for the tourist, our guide, an ex South Vietnamese working for the US, confirmed that everything had been done in keeping with how it really was when he finally saw and understood what he had been fighting against all those years ago. We did get to try a real tunnel, 1.3m high and 0.80m wide. It was very hard work, very dark in places and was a little mind blowing when you think that people lived, died, married and had children down there for months on end. I did 30m of the tunnel, to get a feel for it, then decided that my back was more important. Cheryl, being a VC in waiting, managed to go 60m.

When the VC finally sent the US home they had built around 250kms of tunnels around Cu Chi. In fact, the Americans built a huge base right on top of them not knowing they were there. It was months before they understood why they kept getting shot at night without being able to trace the VC. The ingenuity of the VC was quite outstanding:

By night, via the tunnels, they would rob the bases of the US whilst they slept. By day and night they would use what they had stolen to kill the “enemy”.

By night, they collected anything including scrap metal from bombs to recycle into there own bombs. Even going as far as collecting any UXO to recycle into their own ordinance.

When the US finally twigged what was going on they brought in dogs to sniff the VC out. What did the VC do? Collect US debris from the battle field, old clothes, cigarette packets, poo, in fact anything that smelt western. Then they laid this around the air vents and entrances into their tunnels to prevent the dogs picking up anything but friendly US scent. They also started washing with US soap that they had stolen in the dead of night so that the dogs would be put off the scent.

Sandals made of US tyres for the whole family with a nice tread in the sole to prevent slipping. But there was more, when they were returning to the tunnels after a night of guerrilla warfare they would put the sandals on back to front so the tread made the US think they had gone a different way.

This ingenious list goes on and on and it makes you realise why the US did lose the war. They thought that fire power alone would win the war. Read some of the quotes from the US Generals who probably now wish they had never opened their mouths.

Sure, this was a one sided story but it makes you realise that if your cause means so much to you then you will find a way to survive and even prosper. The Spirit of the Blitz and all that!!

An excellent day out and well worth our tourist $.

Vietnam – Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC)

Neil writes – This for me is a boyhood dream come true. I have wanted to visit Vietnam for as long as I can remember. Maybe it was that year in geography that I studied Vietnam or, more likely, it was that my informative teenage years were blasted on the news by the Vietnam War. Whatever, today a boyhood dream came true after around 40 years.

I am so much more excited than I really expected to be, and it’s exactly as I envisaged it, manic, motorcycles everywhere, on the road, off the road, on the pavement and up your bum if you weren’t careful.

Checked into our room at Luan Vu Guesthouse. No view, no window, but then there’s no noise, a bonus in this crazy city, and no mozzies either, so all in all, ‘tis all OK. It’s very clean and pleasantly presented not as “cell Like” as you might think.

We have lots of US$ which is welcome here but you also need local currency, the Dong. So, off we trotted to the ATM and Cheryl became a millionaire in seconds, 1MD and she’s on a roll, “give me more, more, I need more millions” she kept saying. That was until I reminded her that 1MD is worth around £40!! So now she said “I want 1 billllllionnnn Dong” in that crazed Dr Evil styleeeee! 

First evening wonderful and I am still wowed by this place but Cheryl is just a little overwhelmed by it all as she has never experienced such teaming masses and constant noise since the madness of Mumbai.

Second day was spent trying to get ourselves oriented and planning a couple of trips. It’s plain that to go to the places that we want to see it’s much easier to go by organised trips and, surprisingly, they are quite cheap……. bit like the beer here, 10000 Dong (£0.45) buys you 450ml of ice cold Saigon Beer.

We also seem to have mastered the art of crossing the roads, check for a small break in the traffic, look confident, ignore the fact the traffic never stops, walk at a constant speed and keep your eyes open for the maverick motor-cyclist. That’s it, easy! Maybe a change of underwear in your bag might be a good idea!

Also today we saw 2 guys on a motor bike, one driving and one pillion. The pillion guy was actually holding a pane of glass about 4ft x 3ft in heavy trafffic……barking!

We now also possess headphones and mic so that we can seriously use Skype if anyone wants to speak to us, you can get us at… cheryl..neil ….and remember we are 7hrs ahead.

Tuesday 13th was the anniversary of taking that call in Mumbai when Donna told me that Steve had died suddenly. We did as last year, curry and beers and a large cigar. Thoughts last night were with Donna, Zoe and Matthew who were probably going through some dreadful emotions. I think Steve would have appreciated the evenings agenda, well, apart from the cigar.

Next day we went sightseeing around HCMC. First stop was the central post office, a magnificent building constructed in the late 1800’s. There is a huge picture of ‘Uncle Ho’ beaming down on the people as they buy their stamps. Cheryl continued her obsession with cash – now she’s a multi millionaire following another visit to the cash point.

Took a look around the Reunification Palace, the former seat of government, President’s home and now a museum. Built in the 1960’s it’s the building featured in all the TV & photos taken when the south was surrendered to the tanks of the Vietcong (VC) in 1975. Somehow Neil managed to get into most of the photos I took – see if you can spot him!

Next stop was the War Remnants Museum – full of harrowing pictures and artefacts from the war and the continuing aftermath as still more children continue to suffer birth defects from the effects of Agent Orange. A sobering place and a chilling reminder of man’s inhumanity to his fellow man, under the banner of ‘war’.

Singapore – Squeaky Clean and Sparkly

On the last night in JB we used up our final Ringits on whisky, wine & cheese and set off early next morning (couldn’t wait to get out of JB) for the huge departure terminal to leave Malaysia. It’s a tortuous routine, walking endless shiny new corridors to get to the departure point, get the passport stamped then walk down to the bus area for the short trip across the causeway only to get off the bus again and walk through the immigration and customs for Singapore. Got through immigration without any hassle, then on through the green ‘nothing to declare’ channel. Then the bags were scanned and Neil was taken to one side.

‘You have bottles in the bag Sir?’ said the man in the uniform. Out came the half bottle of wine. ‘OK Sir, you have another one?’ out came the 15 RM ( appox £3) bottle of whisky with seal intact. ‘You come with me Sir, no duty free from Malaysia’. Oh dear we thought and we followed the man to the office where the customs man spent ages filling in a form and looking at Neil’s passport. Finally the duty man asked Neil into his office and politely explained that there was no duty free allowed and gave him a gentle ticking off, no fine, no penalty. Neil did say ‘I didn’t know & I’ve been nabbed!!’ which made the duty guy laugh, and we were finally on our way. Good job it wasn’t the US, one snigger and it would have been the full body search!!!

Arrived at our ‘upmarket’ accommodation, the Novotel on Clarke Quay, and the contrast with JB was acute. Where JB is grime central, Sing is squeaky clean & colourful – the Quays in particular are almost unreal, like Main Street at Disney World. More upmarket bars & restaurants as far as you can see, full of well dressed people spending serious amounts of cash. Could our £30 a day backpacker budget cope?? Well, we have cheated with the accommodation as we have some vouchers to use so we haven’t included the true £100 per night room cost! The loyalty vouchers came from the extensive travel, care of Microgen, (bas**rds), and Cheryl’s contract with AET in Canary Wharf. We have just enough to cover our 3 night stay in Sing.

Spent the rest of the afternoon finally buying the netbook then took a walk around Chinatown including dinner at the food court, roast & bbq pork with noodles followed by spring rolls all for about £3. Beer from the 7eleven & the rest of the wine back at the room – and the budget survived (ok cheated again as have not included the cost of the netbook).

Great breakfast at the Novotel – we did expect better than the usual sweet white bread toast & Nescafe, and we were not disappointed. Spent the morning sightseeing along Boat Quay, Raffles landing spot, the Merlion statue and the Esplanade. Sing has an interesting mix of colonial and high tech with picturesque buildings dwarfed by skyscrapers in the background. It is also a novelty to walk on decent litter free pavements, use proper pedestrian crossings & have no signs of decay or any graffiti anywhere.

Got to Raffles Hotel, which is stunning and got as far as the long bar, but Cheryl decided not to fall for the tourist ritual of the obscenely priced Singapore Sling ($22) but, in keeping with tradition, ate a peanut and threw the shell on the floor instead!

Mark O, eat your heart out. Drinking cold Tiger Beer and watching flocks of beautiful Sing girls go by is still one of the best past times a man could ask for. And there’s a bonus!!!!! There’s now a Hooters here with all the same tacky trimmings as the ones we were used to in the good old days of MMT Energy and those trips to the US. Take a look at the pics Mark, enjoy!! Yes, I know, more globalisation but it’s Hooters so that’s OK…alright!! (This para was care of Neil….yeah, surprise!).

Rounded off the day with food in a Hawker Centre in Little India. Cracking Birianyi on a banana leaf. Say no more, just look at the pics.

Sunday, final day and another walking tour of Sing followed by a visit to another hawker centre out of town not used by many “white folk”. There were two major highlights on the walk.

A guided tour around a large mosque by an American who had converted to Islam. The tour was really interesting in that he explained the similarities between Islam and Christianity. Mohamed was a messenger of Allah just as Jesus was a messenger of the Christian God. Islam recognises God and Jesus. So where is the problem? We all wish we knew. We talked about Muslims and dogs, pork, alcohol and all sorts of stuff. If only the rest of the people of this world believed the same.

Second was a visit to a hawker centre at lunchtime. It was imported from Glasgow in 1894, a magnificent wrought iron structure of Victorian filigree. Absolutely stunning and packed to the gunnels with hungry Singaporeans.

Sunday night was the hawker centre out of town followed by an unintentional visit to a Nepalese Temple including a guided tour by a local follower. Cheryl chose the serenity of the Buddhist temple to light a candle in memory of her mum.

Tomorrow? Vietnam, one of Neil’s dreams to visit and about to come true.

Johor Bahru – Why would you stay here?

We left Melaka to head down to Johor Bahru. It’s the border town with Singapore and it’s easy, but slow, to get across to Sing for a day trip. Sing is very expensive for hotels so to extend our visit to Sing we stayed in JB for two nights.

We had read about JB and we were not too surprised to see what a dreadful place it actually is……“a border town of extensive urban decay” would be a polite description. Take a look at the pics to see the area around our hotel. Finding any info about places to stay in JB wasn’t easy so when our cabby found it difficult to find our hotel we knew we were in for an “interesting” experience. Finally he found it. The area was very run down but the hotel reception was welcoming and the room clean but small. It wasn’t expensive, RM 60, and you could rent the room for 2 hours for RM30!!

Anyway, we used the hotel exactly as we had planned, as an overnight to have an extra day in Sing. It worked and the food we had at a nearby street stall was really good…..so not all of JB is that bad!!

Our day in Sing was to look for Netbook, a tiny computer mainly used for internet work and minor spreadsheets and documents. We have had so many problems with internet cafes, bugs on the camera sticks and memory sticks for our trip that we decided to buy one of our own and save all the hassle not to mention the noise in some of the cafes created by kids playing each other on “shoot ‘em up games”. Another advantage of the netbook, apart from portability, is that we can now use it for Skype and see as well as talk to people for free anywhere in the world……OK, so we’re late in getting there but we’ve made it…..we’re up to date with this new fangled techie stuff!

Next stop Sing!

Updated – Multi Cultural Melaka, town of great history

Melaka is a town of amazing history that started around 1400 with the Malay Sultans. Around 1500 The Portugese took over, 1640 The Dutch came in and then around the late 1700’s the Brits took over. There was a short Japanese period during the war before Independence in 1957. 

The resulting mix of people, cultures, ethnic influences has created a really fascinating city that is full of little treasures that we just “fell upon” as we walked around.

The hotel was on the edge of Chinatown so it was perfectly placed. By day, temples, mosques and people doing their “stuff” and by night all lit up beautifully by red spot lights and, as Chinese New Year looms, lots of paper lanterns, of course, also in red.

The shoemaker, Raymond, is apparently the last shoemaker making handmade replica tiny shoes for women who have had their feet bound. The practice was outlawed around the early 1900’s but was done to show that the woman was from a very wealthy family and she didn’t need to walk or work. It practice was started by an Emperor who liked dainty “ballet” dancer feet. Raymond has a book of his customers including Jaques Chirac, ex French President, and Eddy Merx, ex Belgian cyclist.

Last Days of Ex-Pat Luxury

Our last few days were spent shopping and visiting temples and KL. As you can see from the pics, Ikea lives here along side Tesco……how very sad is that!??

Seriously, the shopping trip was to get mice to feed Maya’s snakes. The female guzzled 4 in quick succession but the male, still “on heat” refused food as he is being kept apart from his mate. The little white mouse dropped into his cage was very confused by the whole episode but was still running around the cage the following morning.

The big shirt….we’ll leave you to work that one out!

We have been looked after really well and Maya has cooked us some great food, full fry up breakfast, pancakes and Spam Fried Rice!! You may laugh, the Spam F R was actually very good.

Last night was spent at a Korean BBQ which was very tasty, loads of meeeaatt and bowls of varying pickles to put with the meat and wrap in a lettuce leaf.

The Condo is great and contrasts with the guesthouse life we have been living. 2 pools, 2 badders courts, tennis courts, 2 squash courts and a gym.

Off to Melaka on the 4th to take in some more culture.

Still having problems with the camera so more pics to follow.

Kuala Lumpur over New Year

KL is exactly what we expected. Clean, green with impressive architecture and parks. The Twin Towers are stunning although we chose to view the city from the Communications Tower instead. You can only go to the height of the bridge at the Twin Towers, about 130 metres, whilst in the Comms tower you climb to about  350 metres. The views of the City are breathtaking.

New Year with Les and Maya was spent in one of the local bars and we watched some amazing fireworks. And, after a night of bingeing what do you do? You get the munchies and what do you have for the munchies? What else, fried spam, corned beef with egg of course!! Les is a great chef and he knows how to treat his guests to real ex-pat binge food!

On New Years Day we visited Batu Caves, a range of caves with stalegmites and stalegtites, that are now a Hindu Shrine. The pics say it all really.

Problems with camera again…grrrrrrr…..pics to follow.

UPDATE …Managed to get some pics from Maya as we lost ours.